Tuesday, 20 October 2009

In the Beginning...

The deeds came through the post way back in April. The envelope looked formal and held an air of significance. It was official. I had become a Lord. A feeling more momentous than when I found out I had become a first class Bachelor of Science a few years ago.

Yet all I had done was purchase my title on the Internet. I felt like a fraud. Stealing myself a piece of social standing and a square foot of land in Scotland for just £29.99. Surely this couldn't be legitimate? Surely I wasn't actually a Lord?

The deeds

I scanned through the accompanying information pack and there it was. The Master Title Deed. The statement of intent for me to change my name by Deed Poll. I panicked. Was I ready to commit to this? It definitely was legitimate. I had only bought it to compete with the fact that my brother had recently become a doctor. I decided to hide the envelope away in a filing cabinet for a while.

Then I became a student for the second time, as a postgraduate. Soon enough the title made its way back into my subconscious. See as a student, your rank in society suddenly plummets. The public turn their noses up at you and the poverty line becomes a genuine issue once again. Not only a student but a surfer too. The glares of contempt seemed to take on double their intensity.

This had to change. I was a Lord now for Gods sake. Surely other Lords didn't have to put up with being called student surfer scumbags? There had to be privileges I was missing out on. I pulled that envelope out from the filing cabinet and studied the Master Title Deed a final time. It was time to take this thing seriously. Time to explore what being a Lord was all about.

Lord Christopher Ward


  1. Well Done! Congratulations! We should celebrate! However, this 1 square foot of land may be a bit small for a party...any suggestions?



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About Me

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For those of you who are new to knowing me, I am Lord Christopher Ward. Second in line to the internet throne, third in line at the post office on a Wednesday morning. Currently a student studying Professional Writing in Falmouth, Cornwall, I envisage a world where I can surf, write, and use my title to get me free stuff. Just don't ask me how I got here; my memory is warped from time to time.